A Pirate's Guide to Evangelism

I have of an odd request. OK, are you ready? Imagine you're a pirate. Really, stick with me here. And not one of those mean, real-life Somali pirates. Nope, let's say you're a fun kind of pirate—you know, like Jack Sparrow. Let's also say you're desperate for some new pirate recruits. (Maybe your last encounter with that Kraken was pretty brutal.) So, what are you gonna do?Well, I suppose you and your remaining mates could grab your swords and muskets, head to shore, and "persuade" some landlubbers to join up. Obviously, not the best way to gain yourself some loyal sea-loving pirates. Nope, there must be a better way.There is! Along with picking up some tips for recruiting new pirates, you'll also pick up some helpful pointers for sharing your faith. And, no, I'm not kidding.


Pirate Calico Jim tells his nephew how to share the gospel with landlubbers. Yarr.As told to Sam O'Neal
Good day to ye, Charles Montgomery:
'Tis yer uncle and captain, Calico Jim, and I be writin' from on deck o' the good ship Adventure's Kingdom. Me and the lads been scrapin' the sails this mornin', and we sorely miss yer strong back, I don't mind sayin' it. But 'tis a good thing ye be doin'—helpin' yer mother while she be feelin' ill.
Still, there be a job ye can do fer the Kingdom while ye be in the world o' landlubbers, Charlie. Be watchin' fer chances to spread the word about our pirate way o' life. Be keepin' yer good eye open fer new recruits—hard-workin' scrogs who ain't afraid o' the sea or a cannon's roar.
'Course, ye cannot go walkin' through the town yellin', "Who wants to be a pirate?" Ye've got to be careful, Matey, since most earth-walkin' citizens be mistrustin' the pirate life. Fer that reason, ye must be representin' the Kingdom well and showin' the common folk all the good that be comin' from a love o' the sea. So, mind these four morsels o' wisdom before ye start fishin'.

1. Belay yer Pirate Speak while ye be in port. There be some pirate words that landlubbers don't understand, Matey—words like "jib" an' "keelhaul" an' "scallywag." So there be no point in wastin' yer spit to say 'em. Betides confusing the lubbers, many o' them words'll mark ye as a seafarin' bandit for certain. An' if any o' them common folk've ever been forced to kiss a cutlass or drink bilgewater by ill-mannered pirates from another ship, they won't be warmin' up to thee, ye can be sure. Mind—there ain't no shame in bein' a pirate, Charlie, but ye'll need a chance to get yer foot in the door.
So if ye want to be findin' new mates fer the Kingdom, belay talkin' o' the Jolly Roger or sendin' a man to Davy Jones' locker. Come to think it, don't be sayin' "belay," either. 'Tis a fine word fer the sea, but not fer land.

2. Go where there be non-pirates. Yer bound to find some fellow swabs takin' their shore leave about the town, but don't be spendin' all yer time with 'em. Don't mistake my meanin', Charlie—'tis a fine thing to gather a group o' pirates for a game o' cards every now and again to be stayin' true to the pirate ways. But ye can't be shinin' the light o' the Kingdom to non-pirates if ye be only with other buccaneers. So spend yer time where there be plenty o' chaps who need learnin' about the pirate way.

3. Think smart about the Pirate's Code. Ye know as well as I, Charlie, that all pirates follow the Pirate's Code. And just because ye be away from your mates, that don't mean ye can forget the Code. Me old pappy used to say, "A pirate follows the Pirate's Code wherever a pirate goes." But yet, it be no easy thing t'explain a pirate's convictions to some rubber-legged messdeck who ain't never seen the sea below 'im and the stars above. Why, think a bit on my fav'rite verse from the Pirate's Code: "Follow yer Captain with all yer brains an' yer blood, an' be a brother t'all o' yer mates." Truer words ain't never been spoken, Charlie. But if ye be quotin' them lines to yer sweet mommy's friends, 'tis a good chance they'll do nothin' but laugh in yer face. Ye need to explain et in ways that matter to 'em.
Here be an important pearl to remember, me bucko: the future pirates ye be findin' ain't never read our Code, so don't be castin' down judgment on 'em fer breakin' it. They ain't e'er sworn allegiance to et as you an' I done. Ye might think a man be gone too far inland t'ever become a swab fer the Kingdom. But that ain't yer decision to make, Charlie. The sea be callin' whatever man the sea be choosin'. 'Tis only yer job to point the way to the Kingdom and trust the Code to be workin' on 'em once they be on board.

4. Speak on the things ye love. While ye cannot be walkin' up to a group o' lads an' tell 'em yer lookin' fer pirate volunteers, 'tis also a poor choice to be speakin' ill o' the landlubbers' life or usin' yer cutlass to force a man to volunteer.
Instead, remember why ye chose the pirate life all them years ago an' how much ye've changed fer the better. Speak yer fill on the joys o' a life at sea. Tell them recruits about the feelin' you get in yer chest when the Kingdom's bow be cleavin' its way through the top o' the waves. Tell 'em about havin' a family o' mates who be sailin' with ye from port to port. Tell 'em about the joys o' singing shanties to the love o' yer life, the sea. Best of it all, tell 'em what it be like to be free o' this world, Charlie.
And when ye tell 'em, be watchin' for that lad who be smilin' and keepin' close attention to yer tales. Be lookin' for that sparkle in his eyes, Charlie. When ye be seein' that, ye can be sure that he's a pirate inside, even though he be unknowin' of it 'imself. Find that lad an' tell 'im that Calico Jim be waitin' to teach 'im what be missin' from 'is life. Ye find that lad, Charlie, and ye send 'im to the Kingdom.
Fair winds, me laddie!
Calico JimCopyright © 2009 by the author or Christianity Today International/Ignite Your Faith magazine.Click here for reprint information on Ignite Your Faith.Winter 2009, Vol. 68, No. 1, Page 38

WYRD March 22-28

WYRD March 15-21

same picture from last week, but new news for this upcoming week.

WYRD FEB.22-28

Sometimes It Isn't Easy

Love one another with brotherly affection; out do one another in showing honor.
—Romans 12:10 RSV

No one ever said that living the Christian life would be easy. The following words help give us perspective.
IT IS NOT EASY
To apologize
To start over
To take advice
To be unselfish
To admit error
To face a sneer
To be charitable
To keep trying
To be considerate
To avoid mistakes
To endure success
To profit by mistakes
To forgive and forget
To think and then act
To keep out of a rut
To make the best of little
To subdue an unruly temper
To shoulder a deserved blame
BUT IT ALWAYS PAYS OFF

WYRD Feb. 15-21

Stranger Than Fiction

Monster Snake Slithered at 43 Feet Long

A colossal snake about the length of a school bus slithered about South America's rainforests some "60 million years ago" (yeah okay), according to an analysis of the skeletal remains of what is now considered the largest snake ever identified.
"It's the biggest snake the world has ever known," said Jason Head, a paleontologist at the University of Toronto at Mississauga and part of an international team who discovered and identified the snake bones.

He added, "The snake's body was so wide that if it were moving down the hall and decided to come into my office to eat me, it would literally have to squeeze through the door."